Speech Anxiety

Its a little late for me to be doing a lot of deep thinking tonight, so I'm going to share with you guys something that I wrote in the past.
(Or Don't. I can't influence your emotions ;) )

Speech Anxiety

"My palms are sweating, my knees are knocking together, and my mouth is dry. My face is flushed, my eyes are watering, and my tongue is as stiff as cardboard. My heart feels like it is trying to burst through my ribs, I’ve just forgotten half of my speech, and my chest is so tight that I feel like I’m trapped under a burning couch. All eyes in the room are focused only on me. These are all of the symptoms that are commonly associated with chronic shyness. In other words, the jitters, speech anxiety. Most people find a way to avoid unpleasant tasks. But giving a speech for an academic competition, or as class valedictorian may be unavoidable. Ask people to compile a list of their top 10 fears, and public speaking will be near the top of many of them.

Now, you may be asking yourself, isn’t that a really bad way to feel right before you go into a speech?  Well, I can tell you, it definitely is. While I was standing in the hallway outside this room, I experienced 6 of the 11 symptoms that I just listed. Just like 3 out of 4 people do, when they have to give a speech. The nature of speech anxiety may be agreed upon, but there are varying opinions on how it manifests itself in the minds of its victims. Sigmund Freud believed that as adults, even though we can’t just break down and start screaming in public, we all still feel that initial dread of exposing ourselves to others that babies feel all of the time. On the other hand, Carl Jung, an analytical psychologist, believes that speakers feel anxious because they think that everyone in their audience knows their greatest weakness. Whatever the manifestations, it would appear clear that speech anxiety has its roots in the mind.

However, underlying all of the psychological manifestations, there’s still the speaker’s physical reaction. If speech anxiety were entirely a mental condition, why would I have a dry mouth and sweaty palms? The answer is relatively simple. Fight or flight. The body’s response to any situation in which the mind identifies a potential threat and the body has to take over. Heart rate and breathing speed up, the pupils dilate, hearing begins to drop off, and the body begins to shake. All of these are caused by the general release of hormones, especially adrenaline. According to this response, I should have either run out of this classroom or starting punching people as soon as I walked in.

Though giving a speech isn’t in anyway physically dangerous, my mind somehow has managed to imprint upon itself that my entire existence could hinge on my avoiding it at all costs. And it has always been that way. During the summer between 8^th and 9^th grade, decided to take a speech class. I thought it would be easy. Boy, was I in for a surprise. During the first two speeches, I was almost entirely unable to speak. Then, high school came and with it, Academic Decathlon. You can imagine my feelings when I was told that I would have to memorize a three and half minute speech each year and give it before a group of judges, whom I had never met before in my life. I quickly learned that those speeches in summer school had been nothing compared to this new found torment. I’m in my third year of Academic Decathlon, and I still have a burning couch on my chest. And from having talked with my teammates, I’ve found that I’m not alone in these reactions. From them, I’ve learned that you can better cope with speech anxiety by taking deep breaths or exercising a little beforehand. Also, I now know that Carl Jung’s definition, that the audience knows our greatest weakness, applies to me. Now, in some deep part of my mind I know that you don’t, but the more reptilian part of my brain believes that you’re all telepaths who enjoy crawling around in my thoughts." Jacob Schluns, 2012

I wrote the above speech for my Academic Decathlon speech last year. Academic Decathlon is a nation wide academic competition where groups of 9 students compete in tests and events in 10 different areas (hence deca) of a particular subject. I've seen the over arching subject by the French Revolution, the Great Depression, the Age of Imperialism, and this year Russia. The ten different competitions are : math, science, music, art, language and literature, economics, social studies, speech, interview, and essay. Those 10 tests above generate somewhere around a thousand pages worth of material that you have to read through and basically memorize in order to succeed. When the state level competitions get to be a month away or so, the team of students and coaches usual is spending 2 hours a day after school studying (and that's not including the studying that students have to do on their own). I know I for one was getting home around 9 pm every day that month (hint: school gets out at 4pm and I still had to eat/do 3 hours of homework + studying afterwards), though that was in part due to other things in my life (more on that in a later post).

How some people start to look at that point.

This competition has had a really profound effect on me during my career in high school (I started in freshman year). I came in to high school not knowing how to study, not knowing how to take notes, not being able to give a prepared speech in front of people. AcDec (Academic Decathlon) forces you to do all of those well, and rewards you for doing them well. I've learned how to be a student. I can read through something once and know it well. I can cut an 100 page packet down to 12 pages of notes. I gave the above speech dozens of times.

AcDec, teaching students to have 8 arms since 1981.

The one unique thing about AcDec is that it lets students of all types join. As in, instead of being exclusive like NHS, which requires a certain GPA, you can get in if you have an A, B, or C GPA. In point of fact, Cs are actually more welcome because we have far to many As for the team. There are 3As + 3Bs + 3Cs per team of 9, plus 1 alternate in each category.

Those alternates get to do nothing but carry bags on  their backs, all day long.

Now, for those of you who think that AcDec is just an obscure thing, its actually in The Day After Tomorrow (Jake Gyllenhaal), and had an entire movie devoted to it (though those guys were actually cheating, so...). Okay, those might not be the best examples, but it is a fun competition that I highly enjoy participating in.

What I wanted to ask you guys is, do you think that events and competitions like AcDec should be included in all schools in order to develop students' abilities?

 Have a good day. Jacob Schluns

FFA and Blade Runner

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They might not seem related to each other on first glance, but I'm going to be arguing that they are.

For those of you who don't know it, Blade Runner is a movie in the sci fi genre. But here, I'm actually going to be talking about the book on which the movie was based, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K Dick.

From that drawing, you can probably tell he was a little "out there". The basic idea of the book is that a bounty hunter, Rick Deckard, is being paid to hunt down and "retire" androids (who look exactly like human beings) that have escaped from the colonies on other planets back to Earth. Intertwined with this story is the parallel one of a mentally challenged person who is harboring those same androids. Along the way, Deckard explores a number of philosophical ideas, including empathy, reality, mind control, intelligence, decay, individualism, and religion. Those are all things that I think (and am going to argue) FFA has a similar opinion on.

But before I get into that, here's a little bit more background on me. I'm a Vice President for my chapter of FFA. I'm raising commercial steers this year, which means that I raise 3 cows for a year for sail on the market. FFA, for those of you who don't know, is an agricultural education organization that's offered as a club to anybody who is taking an agriculture (hereto referred to as ag) class. FFA used to stand for Future Farmers of America, but that bad image you just got in your head at the word "farmers" is probably why they recently changed it to just being The FFA.

That's not the public image they're going for.
FFA is more than teaching people how to be farmers. It gives them leadership skills, by letting them be officers and do LDEs (Leadership Development Events). They help students to develop career skills by running CDEs (Career Development Events). Their motto is "learning to do, doing to learn, earning to live, living to serve". In other words, totally not teaching people to be farmers.

Now, discussion/thesis statement time: I believe that Phillip K Dick in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and the National FFA Organization have similar views/ promote similar values on a number of issues. In order to argue that, I'm going to be pulling from this list of themes of the book.


*Note - I have not read this in a while, so if I get details wrong I'm sorry.*

• Empathy (and the lack thereof) - In Blade Runner (I'm not typing out the title every time), Deckard must face the fact that the androids that he believed early on in the book to not be capable of empathy with each other have actually developed a very strong sense of empathy. The book seems to be trying to tell us that empathy is a thing that almost anything can possess and that it is an admirable quality to have. FFA wants to give the same thing to its members. Pulling straight from the FFA's national site, they state that one of their missions is developing "interpersonal skills in teamwork, communications, human relations and social interaction." You have to have empathy in order to get that whole interpersonal thing going. Additionally, they want you to be empathetic towards your animals. One of the main things that raising an animal (cows, goats, pigs, rabbits, etc) through FFA teaches you is that animals have feelings too and you need to empathize with their situation and take care of them to the best of your ability.

• Intelligence - In the novel, people with intelligence and the ability to do things (Deckard and other bounty hunters) are contrasted with "chickenheads" who have mental deficiencies and are not allowed to emigrate to the colonies (for the sake of purity). While in the novel this was used as a way to criticize the hypocrisy of the fictional society, it could also be used here as an argument for being intelligent and making smart choices, since this allows people more freedoms in life and a better quality of life (not trying to suggest anything ;)). This positive use of intelligence is something that the FFA promotes through its activities. They want to develop the leaders of tomorrow, "promote the intelligent choice", and "encourages wise management". FFA wants to make its members be active in the community, be involved in events around the world, and be successful in industry through the use and promotion of their intelligence.

 versus

• Decay versus Regeneration - In Blade Runner, the world is undergoing a nuclear winter as a result of war, and people are leaving the Earth to decay and fleeing to the colonies. However, Deckard realizes near the end of the novel that the world is regenerating itself, albeit in a new way. This situation is one that is fairly similar to the one facing FFA today (don't laugh, I have reasons why nuclear winter is like anything else). Back when the FFA was established in 1928, a large amount of the population was still involved directly in agriculture (27% were farmers). As such, there was no shortage of people willing to become members. Now, 1 dust bowl and 80+ years of industrial progress later, there is less than 3% of the population involved in farming. In my town at least, I know that we have a very hard time recruiting new members because nobody wants to be involved in agriculture (agribusiness is a really big thing, but they don't realise that). We may be one of the largest student organizations in the world, but we have a decaying membership that I think will only continue to get lower as time progresses. However, by re branding ourselves, and having outreach to young potential members, FFA is regenerating.

• Individualism versus Collectivism - In BR (still too lazy to type all those letters ... even though I'm typing more right now), Deckard is portrayed as being an individualistic person, which by extension leads him to be very selfish. He displays this through his consumerist will to own an animal (they all died in the nuclear winter, remember, and are very expensive) and set himself apart from his neighbors. This is contrasted with the apparent need of humanity to band together in a collective manner in order to pull themselves through the aftermath of the horrific war. FFA, on the other hand, doesn't so much contrast the two views so much as mesh them together. On the one hand, they like to strengthen " the confidence of agriculture students in themselves and their work ". In other words, uphold each members individualism. On the other hand, they also want them to work together for the common purpose of a better future. They promote "cooperation and cooperative attitudes among all people". Cooperation is one of the main parts of being a member of a collective that must work together. So, Dick and FFA have slightly different views on these two policies, but at least they both are willing to say something about them.

• Mind Control - This one is joking (not trying to say bad things about FFA's methods). In the novel, mind control is a concept that is ever present in the background and on the periphery of the story. There is a religion established in the book that has basically been spread through the mind control of its believers. There is a even a debate over whether Deckard himself is actually an android with implanted memories (aka he is being mind controlled). Now, I'm not saying that FFA is a horrible organization that brain washes/ mind controls its new members (if it was, I wouldn't know because I'd be brainwashed into not remembering or caring). I'm just saying, watch the below video.

Now, if that imagery and music does not pound the urge to be an FFA member into your head, you might be an android yourself. :)

Alright, so that's what I think. The above few reasons made me believe that Phillip K Dick and the FFA both have fairly similar beliefs on a number of issues and concepts. Tell me what you guys think.Am I crazy, am I spot on, did I not make logical sense? Also, topics for future discussion would be nice.

Sorry for rambling on so long. That's it for me. Have a good day!

Olympia

How's everybodies' day been?

So, a little bit of a touchy subject last time (cults). I'm going to move on over from that into something a little bit lighter: art. A little background for my experience in art: some. I like to draw, and oil painting is okay. Art museums used to be really boring for me. They took about 20 minutes for me to speed walk through. I'd nag my (insert relative) about how bored I was to be there, and huff angrily at them for not immediately picking up and leaving at that instant.

Give me a break, I was ten.

Then, I realised that art was actually interesting. It was people willing displaying their inner emotions to the world, in some cases. In others, they were telling history as they knew or saw it. Artists tell stories, give out portraits of people, and promote ideals. Art has actual meaning for me now.

(except for that Pollock and Abstract Expressionism crap below)

I can now spend hours upon hours in an art museum and not get to see everything that I was hoping to. I dont want to go to NYC because I'll get depressed about not being able to go through every museum in a few day's time. I'm taking an art history class in school, which is not a very popular course. I've gained patience, in short. With this newfound art appreciation, I've been able to find a couple paintings that I like enough to share them with other people. One of those pieces is what I'm going to be talking about today (and its not a Pollock thankfully). Its actually a painting by Edouard Manet called Olympia.

Just take that in for a second.

Alright, now stop and listen up. That painting, in its original context, actually had a meaning other than portraying a nude. The story within the painting is that the women on the bed is a French prostitute or courtesan. Her black servant is presenting her with a boquet of flowers, which is thought to be a gift from one of her clients. She stares almost apathetically at the viewer, which creates the impression that this is nothing new for her (ie prostitution is old hat for her, even at the age of 19 (more on that later)). Its thought that she might be looking at a client who is coming in through the door where the viewer is (also going to hit that later).

The backstory behind the painting is even more interesting. When Manet displayed Olympia in 1865, the museum had to place 2 armed guards in front of the painting in order to keep the mobs of furious people from damaging it. That was because it was seen at the time as an afront to the values that the middle and upper class possessed, for a couple of reasons. First off,

• The Subject - At the time, this was not a PC thing to do. You did not paint nude women who were not in the bible or from history/mythology (they were the same thing at the time :) ). Additionally, you did not draw prostitutes with faces, because...
• Values/ Humanity - Giving people faces is a way of humanizing them. (Think of the robots in i-robot). People from the time period did not want to be faced with an actual human being who was finding employment through prostitution. This also harkens back to what I said about the woman looking directly at the viewer. The middle and upper class people of the time did interact with prostitutes on a fairly regular basis. However, they did not want to go to an art gallery only to have another one staring at them out of a painting.

Standard painting of the time - Liberty leading the people

• Style - The style of this painting does a subtle thing that you might not notice on your first glance. Look back at it for a second. Notice how its divided into two planes, the background and Olympia on the bed? Manet did this by sharply contrasting the coloring of the background with the harsh white lighting of her skin. This serves to amplify her nutidy, going against the no nude women rule.
• Her Hand- Did you notice that her hand seems to be pressed down over her lady parts? Manet based this painting on Venus of Urbino and Sleeping Venus. In both those paintings, the model's hand is lightly cupping her parts (those paintings weren't reacted to violently). Olympia's hand was seen as symbolising her independence from men, and her being her own person. If you remember your history of the time, and when the feminist movement started (after ww2), then you'll know that women being independent of men was seen as a major no-no.

Manet (above)did a brave thing by going against the standards of the time. He ignored the previously established guidelines and basic assumptions for what art should be and blazed his own path. He meant by producing this piece of art to put forward something that showed how he viewed the world around him, even though he knew it would not be widely accepted. This standing up for what your convictions and beliefs tell you is what art is all about to me.

By the way, the model for this painting was 19 years old at the time. She was named Victorine Meurent, and she became an artist herself. Sadly, however, few of her works survive today.

Alright, thats what I got for today. I hope you guys enjoyed learning a little bit about some art. Tell me what you all think about Olympia, art in general, and topics for discussion.

Jacob Schluns

Introductions

Hello, and welcome to Contemplations.
My name is Jacob Schluns, I'm 17 years old, and a senior in high school.

I got the idea of opening up a blog to help me with my writing, since practicing writing on a regular basis is supposed to be one of the best ways to improve your ability. Its called Contemplations because my plan is to share pieces of work in writing, books, art, or video games, or events in politics and the world and think about what they could mean. In other words, contemplating.

Now , a joke that I thought of a few seconds ago would have told you a lot about what sort of sense of humor I have, but then I realised that it would probably be inconprehensible to most people who read it (hint: it had a copyright symbol in it).

So instead I went out and found the picture of a baby thinking "I'm going to make this face until you get that camera away from me, papparrazzi!" It works better that way.

Also, another thing about me. I've got fairly bad hearing. "Well Jake, why would we care? This is an online blog where you are typing, not listening." Well, stranger, you should care because it can lead to some funny happenings. For instance, there's a song called "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.

In it, there's a line that says " "Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania ". In my poor mind, that line turned into "British Pedomania". Think pedophilia, except slightly less creepy and sexual. Nothing against the Beatles, but I wasn't associating them with Britain while I was listening to it. I went around having listened to this line several times over and thinking the song had a very odd subtext when I was finally corrected. So... bad hearing.

Alright, sorry for wandering in a incoherent manner. Just wanted to let you all know a little bit about me (though not too much ;) ). Now, to the contemplations part aka *serious time*. I was wondering about why people would join cults. Before you head for the exit, hear me out. A cult is defined as "a religious movement whose practices are considered to be abnormal."(Wikipedia)


 That's a wicker man to the left. Those are people inside of it, and that thing is definitely on fire. That's something the druids (aka early cult) supposedly did from the 200s BCE to the 700s CE (not exact dates). For a more modern example, there's the Branch Dividians in Waco, whose compound was burned to the ground during a standoff with the ATF and FBI,  and Jim Jones, who had his whole cult of 900+ people commit mass suicide.

Knowing this sort of reputation for cults, why would people even think about joining one. And no, before you say it, its not because they're stupid people. People who join cults are just as smart as everyone else. They are normal everyday people who lived completely normal lives.

I've heard a couple of reasons for it. One is that it could be a way of expressing your beliefs. Say a person believed that the sun was really a fiery demon that needed to be worshipped in order to keep it from annihilating all life on earth (that does make them sound crazy >.<, but it could be as simple as believing someone is superhuman (ie some fans of celebrities)).

Those things (solar flares) are scary, given that they can be bigger than the planet Earth.

If there were a cult espousing that same belief, then they could be tempted to join them in order to be around people who have similar beliefs. Another is that cults are masters at recruiting people when they are in a stressful situation. People who have just gone through a tragedy in their lives, people who have moved into a new city, people who just lost a job. When they are in that sort situation, people feel like they have to belong to a group in order to have someone to talk their feelings over with. A group that will treat them like family and genuinely care about how they are doing at the moment. Cults are good at arriving just at that moment, and offering to be that group.

One final way that I've heard was that people who join cults are trying to find a way to rebel, to not conform to the "rules" of society. Those people tend to find that cults offer them a way to free themselves from what they view as the crushing pressure to conform with the norm. A way to set themselves apart from the masses. And cults are, again, good at offering that opportunity.

Alright, that's my contemplating for the day. If you readers have any thoughts, please let me know.

PS .Especially with how the economy was a few years ago, and even today, I'm surprised there wasn't more in the news about more people becoming cult members (remember, losing a job could be a trigger for joining up).

, Jacob Schluns